The art of NOT caring.

Hello,
I decided I needed to keep on writing because I may be in a very cruel situation and in order to maintain my sanity    I need to do something. I guess that something is writing this post.

Let me tell you about yesterday. Let me tell you about the most dumb ideas I had running through my baked head yesterday. If you were to see me for the first time yesterday, your first impression of me would have been something like this : "wow this boy gets anxiety attacks over a bunch of crap, he is a total freak, his decision making system is managed by snow white's little midgets collaborating with Barnie." In times like this I swear, I would agree with you, I would add a 'shorty' to my middle name and live in a Hippie cage in the mountains (yes, I'm afraid I just smashed every aspect of todays teens and what not into one little sentence). For those who missed my outstanding performance yesterday and never got to draw their first impression of me, I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt for just a few moments as I quiz you. What do you think I did yesterday?
a. Had to write 3 pages of rubbish for a literature test.
b. wrote pros and cons so I could make a good decision ending up writing :" depression" three times on both sides.
c. Named my father's finger Daria Fingg
d. cancelled a 4 day trip after getting into a massivve panic attack , I developed a 'packing' trauma a while ago that poped out of nowhere yesterday.
c. I ate frozen pees because the microwave didn't heat them properly and thus I gave up after 15 minutes - this my friends, is not yummy.
d.Cuddled up with a punk.
e. all of the above (and more that is clearly uncomftrable and weird to just spill out).

ok, I know I know, it doesn't sound as bad but hey picture me tall and steady mourning my existence exhaling like a crazy person, no offence crazy people you really look crazy.

I was supposed to go on a 4 day trip , this political organization's scouts trip. I used to like going there but as you get into your teenage years it is really hard to be consistent, ya know? This is actually what I am supposed to be doing today: I'm supposed to wear a blue shirt attached by red strings , I'm supposed to eat bad food and raw meat. I'm supposed to sing a song before I eat that says "come,come to the table" , hey I'm still waiting for that table. I'm supposed to get tanned and hot , I'm supposed to listen to political rap. I'm supposed to meet perverts. I am writing this so I guess I wasn't actually supposed to do all of that. Look where I am, at home, wow, the tv is playing a satire show -my head is blocked.

I know it is getting too long and too boring so I am going to place my fingers on the orange button as I let my low motivation  take over my functioning.

MATHEW