Town

I remember how this one time I came back after a quick shower and I told someone I had just washed the day away (or was it off?) , he liked that. I think I have lightened the possibility of getting rid of the dirt of the day for that kid. He asked if he could borrow it, I happily gave him permission to do so. I have never thought about me seeing the shower as something way more ceremony connected than most people but I guess you could say that taking a shower for me is just like a washing the day off ceremony. Here I am now, clean and stumped with junk food after a ceremony indeed, trying to put the dirt I just shook off in order for my existence to make sense.

Im borrowing an imaginary comb from the world. Im combing out bits and pieces of life as I know it. Mostly Im just very lazy, I sleep in and watch TV when I rise like a superficial materialistic zombie, I suppose. Im not even very picky concerning the movies and films my mind swallows daily, just because there isnt much to watch anyways. Most days pass me by like ghosts. Numb, dull, nothing special swirls in my brain. Most days, after I watch Tv, I make an effort and study a little of Math and then when the opportunity knocks on the door, I go out and make some cash from English tutoring or babysitting little elfs. From time to time, I go out and meet figures that mean nothing to me and that fill me with anticipation to meet the real deal. Mother claims Im just looking for friendships that dont exist but she better be glad Im not looking for those things in drugs because that could easily fill in the blanks, and I wont of course, experiment.

I like books. Now Im reading, "Girl, Interrupted" its a good book, Im dunking it down my throat. Im also mingling my time and sharing it with Trainspotting. My book fetish is weirdly dumb becuase I just like gripping  the books, most books I dont even finish. I got a gift card to a well known book shop, 50 fair dollars. The car
d is still secured and kept well in my wallet for when I see the book of my life. Its hard to just buy any book with that money.

About an hour ago, I was on top of the town. there is this new roof they built in the new shopping center , the department of Teen Culture runs it now. that wast a sophisticated joke. And this was a a stupid remark about jokes. I stood on the edge, a righteous place which could easily be used for suicidal purposes. I hadnt jumped. If you were to ask me again tomorrow , my answer would have been unknown.
On my way home I passed by the school. Its a row of very ugly orange triangular shaped buildings, I thought to myself quietly, this place is so un inviting and yet again, I miss the winter here. I envy my old self who was shoved to the corner by studing when its cold and fresh and nude. This place is kind of inviting , like a hospital, really. I like hospitals , not because I know lots of doctors,but because I think they are like Hotels for freaks. And I like both hotels and freaks.

I thought about that OCD kid, thought really hard. Maybe we will be friends when school starts again and Maybe he will not discover what he is looking for in me. I hope we are all going to survive this.

Mathew

p.s there is no probability to see THEM, now, they are back in comfort zone town.