Vomit.
No I haven't puked in such a long time its insane. With the nausea running through my body and settling in the pit of my stomach there's not much to do but to yank i tall out- mentally at least. I have eaten too much shit since 9pm, a toast, coco pops, tuna salad, pasta, wafer rolls...... get out already.

Perhaps the nausea is like an old friend, like, say, Mr. Depression that likes to crash over at my place every Tuesdays and Fridays crawl under my blanket and cuddle ,Mrs. Nausea is just an introduction,or perhaps a blend of every emotion Im capable of obtaining. All at once. Mostly those emotions could be shown as fear, even though  Mrs. Nausea is too strong to let them show, only this low depressive blue nausea, thats what have become of these fears. there once existed the fear of growing up. The fear of staying young. The fear of falling behind. The fear of being under educated. The fear of being dumb-fully over educated. the fear of wasting wrinkle free years. the fear of not having a reason to wake up. The fear that my choices are yet to be made. The fear of the monsters under my bed, over my shoulder, behind my scalp, inside my brain. The fear of losing things I dont even own. Now they are Nausea because I ate  them all up.

Id be lying if I said I wasn't praying for some reason to fall into my tired hands, a reason that would make  this life pure and important. All i keep getting is people being bombed , girls being raped and boys being sent to war in diapers. Well, now, tell me this is something to look forward to?

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 Not much happened today, I went to the mall with E. Whose company is pretty legit these days because she needs me and I cant really object after whats been done to her. My vow of keeping  them out is now broken because the minute I left that house troubles started clutching to its every feature and every soul and only I, I the ghostly , I, stayed numb with no control over this trip.
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Mat

p.s- I might be working as a waiter but then again how am I going to fit that in?!? too soon to talk much?